FAVORITE SAYINGS

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

It's amazing what you can accomplish with a little hard work and a lot of whining.

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies:~ They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now.........I am so far behind, I will live forever.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because your body and your fat are real good friends.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

Amazing! If you hang something in your closet for a while, it shrinks two sizes.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out ~ but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards