It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.
The management does, however, realize the importance of each individual to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled the following list.
It's imperative that all employees understand and memorize the code phrase so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.
OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE No Fucking Way I'm not certain that's feasable. You've got to be shitting me Really? Tell someone that gives a fuck Perhaps you should check with... Ask me if I give a fuck Of course I'm concerned It's not my Fucking problem I wasn't involved with that project What the Fuck? Interesting behavior Why the Fuck didn't they tell me this sooner? I'll try to schedule that When the Fuck do they expect me to do this? Perhaps I can work late Who the fuck cares? Are you sure it's a problem? He's got his head up his ass He's not familiar with the problem Eat shit You don't say Eat shit and die Excuse me? Eat shit and die, Motherfucker Excuse me, Sir? What the Fuck do they want from me? They weren't happy with it. Kiss my ass So you'd like my help with it? This job sucks I love a challenge Who the hell died and made you boss? You want me to take care of this? Blow me! I see[an error occurred while processing this directive]