Top 10 Things Not To Do At Your Boss's Christmas Party

10. Casually mention that he and Santa have a great deal in common: They're both fat, jolly, and only work one day each year.

9. Go reindeer tipping.

8. Offer your boss a hit from your homemade eggnog bong.

7. Lunge from tabletop-to-tabletop singing "9 to 5." Then urinate in the punch bowl.

6. Mention to him that the pate looks a whole lot like somthing you just left stuck to the side of his toilet.

5. Pursue his giggly teenage daughter around the house armed only with mistletoe and an eggbeater.

4. Pour Jello Jigglers down his wife's blouse, then loudly demand to play "Pin the Tongue on the Hooters."

3. Randomly choose passerbys and yell "Matheson, YOUR FIRED!" regardless of their name or place of employment.

2. Repeatedly offer his wife an "Entry Level Position" in the coat room.

1. Attempt to act out Nativity scenes by recruiting the help of his household pets. Ask him to play the ass.

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